Self-Evaluation
Change is sometimes hard to see, and when easily seen, it is often difficult to “handle” in life.
Big change is unsettling, challenging, and often confrontational. It upsets our routine, forces us evaluate and shift our “normal” and confronts our habits and tradition. That is rarely fun. It can be exciting – but excitement and “fun” are separate things! I am of the belief big changes are sometimes necessary and easier to navigate spiritually that small changes.
Small changes that go unnoticed is where the real danger lurks for believers. Especially for ministerial leaders.
We go about day to day, pouring into others, pouring into the church, pouring into our calling and ministry – without ever refilling, or REALIZING we are depleting ourselves!
It may seem a small thing, like it is simply what we are CALLED to do and all is well. But you pour out a little of what you have. Not BIG amounts like Jesus and the woman with the issue of blood. Not amounts where we fell virtue or power leave us – we are just working for the Lord.
We don’t evaluate the impact on us personally. We don’t count the personal cost of building ministry.
You can be “holy” and say you don’t build it – and that is partly true – but we all, if we are true to our calling, WORK to build the church, to make disciples, to hone our craft, to be BETTER. We work to build ministry. False humility and humbleness is tired. One could even argue it is unbiblical. God has given us power, position, and authority – why deny it! (See 2 Timothy 1:7-8, Mark 16, Luke 10:19, Matthew 18:18, Romans 13, Hebrews 13:17, 1 Timothy 3:1, etc.) Own who you are, and who God has called you to be – anyway – moving on!
We work to build, but do we replenish the supplies? We pour out, but do we refill?
I am certain most of our ministers DO, in fact, refill. Spiritual discipline is a strong point for most. So don’t take this as a rebuke, or complaint. It is simply a warning to stay focused. It is just a reminder that you can’t pour out if you don’t have anything in you to share!
Here is why we need to evaluate. It is hard to notice we are becoming depleted when we pour out in small amounts! 1ml of water taken from a 500ml bottle makes no visual difference. It makes no discernible difference in any possible way – but it is gone. In fact, I would venture to guess you could take out 1ml every day for 20 days and not really notice a difference at all. BUT – by that time you are already accustomed to the lesser amount, so you never realize anything is gone – until it is too late. You have poured and poured SMALL amounts, and now you find yourself suddenly empty! You find yourself in a dangerous place you didn’t even realize was possible.
We are not made to be empty, devoid of good things to pour into others. God has told us to evaluate our own life:
Examine yourselves, to see whether you are in the faith. Test yourselves. Or do you not realize this about yourselves, that Jesus Christ is in you?—unless indeed you fail to meet the test!
2 Corinthians 13:5 ESV
Let us test and examine our ways,
and return to the Lord!
Lamentations 3:40 ESV
So teach us to number our days
that we may get a heart of wisdom.
Psalm 90:12 ESV
Small change is dangerous, but hard to see. Big change is unsettling, but easier to see and navigate!
We are called to GO, to make disciples, but we are also called to cultivate our spiritual health before we do those things. And when we prioritize our spiritual health, we can remain full, thereby having something to continually pour into others like we are called to do!
Jesus prayed for himself, he taught us to pray for our daily provision (I believe that to be both physical AND spiritual), and he retreated from ministry to pray and seek the Father.
Jesus did it, we should do it also!